Analyzing An Unsustainable Practice

One thing I really liked about my writing class this year was the fact that Professor Olufs had the class read each other’s essays. I think that was a huge step for me because I was always embarrassed by how I wrote my essays. But through this process of writing, it had taught me that it is very important to have your peers or your instructor to revise your essay before you turn it in. It honestly made a huge improvement in my writing because it is a great way to see what they think about your essay. Sometimes they can offer some good ideas on how to improve. Since it’s from a different perspective they are easily able to point my mistakes. Having someone revise your essay is a great technique to do even if you revised it yourself. For instance, in my essay #4 which was about on “how do you learn a new skill relating it to tai chi” I revised it so many times before I

I have chosen to revise Digital Technology Literacy Narrative because I felt that this essay could have been better. If only I have fix some of the grammar error and punctuation of my essay than my grade would probably be higher than what I had. Moreover, after I read the comments about my essay, I felt that I should had add more description and detail in my essay, so it wouldn't seems rushedThe most difficult problem that I have with this assignment is starting the essay and staying on track. While I was writing with this essay, I tend to pause for a moment because I have no ideas what I should write next. That's why the climax, falling action, and resoultion reads quite short and rushed. By revising this particular essay, it would help me hone my voice and improve my writing skill such as my grammar and punctuation. Revision help us discover small mistakes in your essay and gained the perspective of

The improvements that I need to make are simple. Learning how to properly cite a source in an essay and citing it at the end. The right punctuation is something I need to be careful with and I need to work on. I feel that’s what I need to worry about the most. I also often get stuck and thoughts are often blank. I hate when I write and I lose my thoughts and become stuck.

The essay was a little unorganized and jumped around a lot, so after properly reviewing it I realized that the essay needed to flow a little more so that the audience could get a simpler and clearer understanding of the essay. Because, I did not use heading I need to be to appropriately use the sections so that each one stood on its own and had a clear and precise subject on its own. So, I went through and reread each section and ended up changing them around so that it flowed smoother and had completed thoughts.

Essay 1 was about a Mission Statement that I had to write for myself something personal which explains something that is truthful and explains who and what I am and what I am strving to achieve when searching my name “Brian Mamuyac”. What I did to prepare for this assignment was that our instructor gave us the prompt ahead of time and I created a rough draft and when we had to meet up in the computer room I just had to type up my essay and turn it in. The challenging part of this essay would be understanding the prompt because I had no idea what a Mission statement was and what I was supposed to do. For Essay 1 I was marked down for redundancy, repetition, grammar and spelling and also clutter. What I can do to prevent the errors in my next version would be to understand the prompt and directions more and have more ideas to write about myself.

The revision strategy for myself that will be most effective for writing this essay would be to

Some of these errors included repetitive transitions, sentence fragments and general grammar and punctuation errors. After these errors were fixed, I thoroughly read through both of the essays in order to develop a full understanding of what else I need to improve. Following these readings, I fixed any further grammatical errors I may have missed the first time when I revised these essays earlier in the semester. Following this revision, I expanded on a few paragraphs where I felt as though my ideas were not explained well-enough. I expanded a fair amount on my paragraphs in Project #3 as I believe that I had left some ideas unexplained. One of these ideas include how children are the ones who will one day help to shape the future. I also improved on some further transitions that I found could use some refinement. After improving on these transitions, I simplified any overly-complex sentences I may have had in my essays. Throughout the semester, I have had a problem with writing overly-complex sentences. The process of revision has helped in clarifying this aspect of writing for me as well as aspects relating to transitions and sentence fragments. Through the clarification of these aspects, I believe I have grown as a

Lastly, self-evaluation is a key component to writing an effective essay. Even though I was able to have student feedback for my essays; self-evaluation is important for me to be able to determine my strengths and weaknesses in my writing. After composing each essay I was required to compose a self-evaluation. The evaluations describe what I consider the strong points in the essay, and were I felt I still needed to

The revision process for me was difficult. It was difficult because I thought that my ideas were clearly stated and organized. However, that was not the case. There were sections in which the language of my essay made the ideas that I was trying to convey disorganized. Other times I had too much going on and had to slow down the pace of the essay. In brief there were errors within my essay, therefore I needed to make revisions to improve the quality. There were many changes/revisions that I made. Firstly, I omitted a paragraph in which I made a relation to 187 Reasons Why Mexicans Can’t Cross The Border. Though it had good content in regards to identity, I realized that it threw off the idea of a close reading. The objective of this assignment

Also, by revising my essays I felt that I had the chance of writing with a broader sense.

The most impact revision for my essay was posing my interpretive problem as a question. I often struggle trying to practice generosity and addressing ambiguity in my essays mainly because I am not sure how to approach those issues. As a a result, my writing can sometimes come across as too definitive without considering other instances, which ultimately weakens my overall argument. By posing my interpretive problem as a question, I was able to rework my essay so that I introduce my overall claim in a timely manner that fits the progression of my paper rather than immediately stating my claim in the beginning. Moving forward with other academic writing, I have embrace ambiguity in my piece as it strengthen my overall argument. To ensure success

I chose to revise and improve my analytical essay one. On my old paper you will find that I used a green highlighter to alert you to the corrections I made. I corrected several minor spelling errors. I re-worded a few of the sentences to make them fit with the rest of the paper better and to refrain from run-on sentences. I changed a few words that were “wordy” to being more simple. And I also inserted several punctuation errors that I had missed when I previously edited my essay.

The first essay was a persuasive essay on the right for gays/lesbians to marry. I believe that my first essay could have been a lot better. I think if I had based my paper on the topic sentences that I put together in the outline my paper would have been a lot better than

There are several ways in which I thought I could have improved my essay. I am writing this justification paper to mention a few.

The third essay that was written was a critical argument. This assignment required me to choose two articles from the school library and write an essay stating my opinion on a particular subject. The topic I chose was medical marijuana. This topic was interesting to me, so it made the assignment fun. On this essay I had fewer mistakes than in previous essays. I continued to struggle with APA citation and the use of commas. When I looked at the feedback from this essay, it gave me confidence. I felt that I was learning and my writing skills were improving.