How does online infidelity affect relationships? Research Paper-3

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Lesley Quintero January 23, 2022 How does online infidelity affect relationships? Being in a relationship with someone means respecting and staying loyal to that person no matter the circumstances. In today’s society cheating has become extremely easy to do in relationships. Online dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have made it very easy for individuals to cheat and get away with it. “How does online infidelity affect relationships in today’s society?” has become one of the greatest questions. How can a person cheat and stay in a committed relationship and continue to believe that their actions are considered normal and would not have any negative consequences. “Several studies suggest that even when there is no in-person contact, online affairs can be just as devastating as the real-world variety, triggering feelings of insecurity, anger and jealousy.” (Smith, B. L.) For many people finding out their a partner who had an online affair can be as devastated due to emotional distress in the relationship. In addition, many may say that if there is no physical contact it should not be considered an affair. Mileham has defined it as amounting to infidelity based on three factors: “First, the institution of marriage involves emotional and sexual exclusivity and hence, sexual involvement with someone other than the spouse is considered unacceptable. Second, it typically occurs in secrecy, and is usually kept hidden from the spouse. Third, the consequential nature of chat room liaisons and the breach of trust it can create, substantiate their classification as infidelity.” (Mileham, BL.) Infidelity is not only physical contact without someone other than your partner. Infidelity is defined emotional, sexual, and physical involvement with someone other than your partner and can lead to aggression, violence, and physical and emotional damage in the relationship. Our world is rapidly changing and the internet has become part of our everyday life. Many people spend the majority of their time online. An affair is still considered an affair even

when there is no social involvement between two people. An affair can happen anywhere online not just in dating apps, but also in online gaming, social media, etc. “A cyberaffair is defined as a romantic and/or sexual relationship that is initiated via online contact and maintained predominantly through electronic conversations that occur through e-mail and in virtual communities such as chat rooms, interactive games, or newsgroups.” (Young 2000) In many cases cyber affairs start in the online community but can lead to physical contact if both individuals decide to meet. Furthermore, an individual feels that they can have their needs met via a cyber relationship and in many occasions it can lead to cyber sex. “Once the person has begun to use online relationships to get their needs met, such online comfort can easily turn into mutual erotic dialogue, often known as "cybersex." Cybersex involves two online users engaging in private discourse about sexual fantasies.” (Young 2000) Cybersex is considered infidelity because you are fantasizing of being with someone else that is not your partner. In addition, cyber infidelity is always kept in secrecy and hidden from their partner. A person having a cyber relationship will spend more time on their phone and less time interacting with their partner. “Time online can quickly progress into talking with a "cyberlover" and/or various forms of cybersex. For some an online relation- ship will progress into secret phone calls, letters, and offline meetings. Oth- ers prefer the distance and relative anonymity and control offered by the Internet and will prefer to confine the relationship to cyberspace.” (Young 2000) On many occasions people feel more comfortable having a cyber relationship with an individual that they never physically met because they can be themselves without being judged. Individuals that are having a cyber relationship being married tend to excuse their actions by stating that there is no physical contact and it should not be considered an infidelity, but an infidelity is much more than just sex with someone that is not your partner and a cyber

relationship is consider an infidelity because you are sharing, fantasizing, and creating a bond with someone other than your partner. “Getting one's needs met through a cyber affair will adversely impact an ongoing, long-term, face-to-face relationship and is likely to cause marital discord, separation, and can even contribute to divorce.” (Young 2000) Cyber infidelity will contribute to a marriage being broken because as Young mentions in her article the cyber relationship will have a negative impact in a face to face relationship because lying and hiding from your significant other means you are doing something wrong. Romantic jealousy has been defined in many ways. It can start by checking locations, cellphones, and isolating your partner from certain individuals. Now as the world changes people are more concerned with what their partner is doing on their phone rather than what they are hiding. “Jealousy is a very complicated, multidimensional, and multifactorial experience that must be handled as a combination of emotions (anger, fear, envy) and reactions (aggression, violence).” (Demirtas- Madran 20018) Social network sites such as Facebook, dating apps, and instagram trigger jealousy because of new ways of infidelity such as cyber sex, viewing of online pornography, hot chat groups, etc. Individuals have created fake profiles to know what their partner is doing on the internet. In many occasions individuals would check their partners phone without consent looking for proof of cyber infidelity. Romantic jealousy has become a result of an individual’s low self esteem. Individuals may act differently in situations of infidelity based on their gender. Studies have shown that males and females react differently to their partner being in a cyber relationship. Their negative reaction and combination of emotions show that each gender cares and looks for something differently in a relationship. “Males tend to cope with sexual jealousy through aggression more than females. Jealousy has been considered as an essential factor in male

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