Discussion Thread- Get the Present Story

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Communications

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Apr 3, 2024

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Discussion Thread: Get the Present Story Ministry or Agency-based Context: I am Danita Davis an ordained elder, assistant pastor, and future lead pastor of my family church. I was ordained in 2011 and in the last four years God has shifted my role from support to being a leader, making decisions for our ministry with the approval of my pastor who is also my father. Even before this I have been the person everyone comes to for guidance, prayer and a listening ear. I have chosen Josh to be my care seeker. While many may have looked at the family and chosen Brody or Bruce because of their apparent issues, Josh plays a powerful role in the Murakami family. Following the death of his mother, he must come home from school amid a semester to a tragedy. He sees his younger brother and briefly addresses him and then goes to his father and hugs him. Josh is the bridge between Brody and his father. He must make smart decisions to bring his father and brother together. While he appears to have it all together, it appears that he must become a peacemaker instead of process the mother and sisters’ death. He essentially must be the strong one. I can identify with Josh as that is my role in the family, the one who brings everyone together. The one who must make the hard calls and make sure everyone is ok. Josh is the one who is away from home, in college. I can empathize with his role and understand his actions and reactions. Guiding Principles for the Pastoral Counselor: The guiding principles that will support my care for Josh include being guided by the wisdom of Christ to help through this journey. I will be an imitator of Christ and show love as He has shown it to us which is until the very end. I will rely on the truth found in the Word of God and be dependent on the Holy Spirit to lead my words and actions through this time of grief and perplexity. Have these tools will benefit both as when you are led by the Holy Spirit you are able to speak the words that need to be said you are able to listen and provide Godly counsel. When you love like Jesus loves, you can show compassion for others. (Hawkins, 2024) Rapport and Relational Alignment: To build rapport with Josh, I would establish common ground. To do this I would allow him to tell as much or as little as he desired. I would not push, but I would actively listen. Josh is in a precarious situation where he needs to grieve but there are so many other variables that preclude him from having time to face his own emotions. He is portrayed as being wise beyond his years, so I would not placate him with trivial things. I would express if the moment arose that I could empathize with his position the current family structure. I would reassure him that he also has the right to express his grief and to make his decisions on how he processes. Josh and I have similar relational styles. My DISC profile suggests that I have “an inherent tendency toward analytical thought.” From what I know about Josh he appears to be a “C” type, based on his scholastic focus leads me to believe he shares similar characteristics of being task focused. Utilizing attentive listening techniques

to validate his feelings “while carefully listening for clues that may represent strengths and exceptions.” (Kollar, 2011, p. 92) Phase One Distinctive Features: The purpose of this meeting with Josh is to gauge how Josh is processing the death of his mother and sister. Secondarily to that to get a clear understanding of what he feels his role is with his father and brother. While Josh presents as a person who has grasped the reality of what has occurred by how he interacts with others, this could be a façade for how he is truly managing his feelings when he is alone. As the counselor it is my role to listen and take note for any clues presented that suggest the latter. It is also my role to help him express how he is managing the trauma of the deaths and his dad’s initial push for justice and his final decision to exercise grace. His feedback will determine if he has truly accepted the deaths and their finality. My role will be to facilitate an open dialogue with Josh which will be aided by the guiding principles. Food For Thought: I will know I have listened well by Josh’s communication when he becomes responsive to my body language and dialogue it will show that I have heard and understand. Maintaining an open and relaxed posture and eye contact will ensure him that I am interested in what he is saying and reassures that he has my total attention. (Davies, 2011) References Davies, N. (2011). Active Listening through Body Language. Health Psychology Consultancy. https://healthpsychologyconsultancy.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/active-listening- through-body-language/ Hawkins, R. (n.d.) Guiding Principles for the pastoral counselor [Video]. Liberty University. https://canvas.liberty.edu/courses/592017/pages/watch-guiding- principles-for-the-pastoral-counselor?module_item_id=64429595 Kollar. C.A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short- term approach for getting people back on track . Zondervan. Uniquely You. (2024). DISC profile report [PDF document].

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