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Home  »  Familiar Quotations  »  Artemus (Charles Farrar Browne) Ward 1834-1867 John Bartlett

John Bartlett (1820–1905). Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. 1919.

Artemus (Charles Farrar Browne) Ward 1834-1867 John Bartlett

 
1
      My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin’ accommodatin’ character.
          The Crisis.
2
      The fack can’t be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.
          The Crisis.
3
      I am not a politician, and my other habits are good.
          Fourth of July Oration.
4
      The prevailin’ weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.
          Fourth of July Oration.
5
      I can’t sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
          Artemus Ward’s Lecture.
6
      N. B. This is rote Sarcastikul.
          A Visit to Brigham Young.
7
      Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many?
          The Census.
8
      Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?
          Moses, the Sassy.
9
      Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.
          Natural History.
10
      The sun has a right to “set” where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen.
          A Morman Romance, IV.
11
      He is dreadfully married. “He’s the most married man I ever saw in my life.”
          Moses, the Sassy.